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Well, that’s not entirely true. Some of you know all of this and more, but clearly I’m not talking to you. *LMAO.* For everyone else, have some fodder:

Tubal baby @12mos.

1. My husband I have six kids–three boys and three girls–which is probably not news to most of you. What might be, however, is  number six arrived AFTER I had portions of my tubes removed and the remaining pieces tied and burned closed. Um, SURPRISE! (She’s cute, but she’s been trouble from day one … literally. And the first five, for the record, we had on purpose).

2. I never missed a single day of school. When I graduated from high school, I received a certificate for thirteen years of perfect attendance. (No, I never got sick. Ever.)

3. I’m a science and math nerd. I double majored in biology and biochemistry in college, enduring hours upon hours of physics, calculus, and biology-type courses until organic chemistry finally kicked my ass. It was the first time I’d ever failed a class. (15 years later, it still stings.)

4. When I get aggravated with my kids for not listening to me, I recite in Spanish the Pledge of Allegiance to America. I swear that has to be the most useless bit of foreign language I’ve ever learned (how much allegiance can you have if you can’t say it in English?) but it stuck with me and it annoys the crap out of them. (Therein lies the charm).

5. I drink my coffee “white.” As in, with so much creamer (powered, please) it’s white. My husband says I should just drink milk, but I don’t like milk. So there.

My son's 3D army tank cake, made by moi.

6. I decorate cakes. When I was a kid I used to love looking through my grandma’s cake books, and those memories rank among my fondest. Even still, I never expected to follow in her footsteps. It came about as a side effect of making and decorating my oldest daughter’s first birthday cake, with everyone calling me to make theirs after that (then their party guests, and theirs…). The cake to the left is one of my faves. I made it for my son, and it stood about 8″ high and 12″ long with camouflaged cake inside. (The tank gun doesn’t actually work.)

7. I never, EVER wanted to be an author.

Now, you’ve tolerated me this long … how’s about putting in another few moments for charity?  HAWTHORNE is on sale for just $1 and 100% of proceeds are forwarded directly from the publisher to benefit Japan disaster relief. Please check it out! ASTRAEA PRESS | AMAZON KINDLE | B&N NOOK